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Crude Jokes

Crude Jokes

100,000 - 500,000 downloads

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Over 1900 crude jokes. They are just that CRUDE, they contain swearing are are likely to offend

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"What do you call a female police officer that shaves her pubic hair?
C**t Stubble."

"The Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven ... which
part of your body goes first?"
Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"
Suzie replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first!"
"What a wonderful answer!," the teacher said.
Now, Tommy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think it's your legs."
The teacher looked at him with the strangestlook on her face.
"Now, Tommy, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Tommy said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night,
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was moaning, 'O God, I'm
coming!' And if Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd a lost her for sure!!!""

"One day a guy with premature ejaculation problems went to a doctor.
The doctor said, "Whenever you feel the urge to ejaculate, startle
yourself."
So he went out and bought a starter pistol.
When he got home, his wife was naked in bed, ready for him. So they
got in the 69 position and started at it. Soon he felt the urge to
cum, so he fired the pistol.
The next day he went to the doctor. The doctor asked him how it went.
He said, "Not too good. My wife bit off three inches of my dick, s**t
in my face, and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his
hands up.""

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

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Recently changed in this version

3.3.45New Jokes Added

3.3.4 New Jokes Added

3.3.3 Small bug fix

3.3.2 New Jokes Added

3.3.1 Menu updated, info button changed to menu.

3.3.0 New jokes added, menu graphics added, report jokes for offensive content, bad spelling or because its a repeat.

3.2.10 New Jokes Added

3.2.9 New Jokes Added

3.2.8 New Jokes Added

3.2.7 Save favorites bug fixed.

3.2.6 New Jokes Added

3.2.5 Small bug fix

3.2.4 New Jokes Added

3.2.2 New Jokes Added

3.2.1 Welcome screen bug fix

...


Comments and ratings for Crude Jokes
  • (56 stars)

    by Moses Polite on 30/04/2014

    Like

  • (56 stars)

    by Tommy Twist on 13/04/2014

    Very cool app, keep it up! It's obvious that those guys rating it as bad or crude don't have any sense of humor at all.

  • (56 stars)

    by Michael Fincham on 31/03/2014

    It looked cool

  • (56 stars)

    by Tuna Fish on 12/02/2014

    Lil johnny so ugly when he walks by a.pig the pig turns blind

  • (56 stars)

    by Kate Payne on 06/01/2014

    Funny as

  • (56 stars)

    by Shawn Hunter on 05/01/2014

    This app helps keep the party going.

  • (56 stars)

    by Melissa Troeh on 01/12/2013

    These applications are awesome