"Epic, historic...and totally inaccurate. Arthur and his knights, charged by God on a sacred quest to seek the Holy Grail, find a castle inhabited by you, merry and mischievous French barbarians whose master claims to ""already have one"".
Defend your Citadel with an adjustable catapult against those English types who feel enraged by your outrageous accent, using a variety of projectiles that belong more in the farmyard than 10 feet up in the air. Fling chickens, cows, European and African swallows, and even the kitchen sink to keep those knights out before you have to fart in their general direction.
Tell that silly king to boil his own bottom and claim his mother was a hamster, and build up your arrogance meter to unlock other animals and taunt that silly king a second time."