Goat Simulator

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    Goat Simulator's review

    Published: 2014-09-17, by .

    Be the goatiest goat that ever goated in this hilariously pointless sim game

    • You are a goat
    • Open-ended headbutting bliss
    • Get points for destroying everything
    • Big ol' world to explore
    • Physics bugs actually add to the experience
    • Admittedly pretty stupid


    I will admit it up front: I have been waiting for Goat Simulator to debut on Android ever since reading about its development months ago. There's something deliciously, deliriously marvelous about something so intrinsically pointless. Goat Simulator is a game whose value stems from the self-awareness that, yes, it is very stupid. Also, you're a goat. Sometimes dreams do come true.

    The "aim" is to run around the 3D world and wreck the heck out of everything, including boxes, gas stations, heavy machinery, throngs of humanity, and so on and so forth. You may Headbutt, of course, although I think you'll find your state-of-the-art Jumping and Licking actions to come in just as handy. There's a whole host of achievements to unlock, ranging from low-level drek (Jump Over Something) to the stuff of every goat's fantasy (Become Queen Of The Goats).

    The visual design and in-game physics are terribly buggy, which manages somehow to add to the idiotic charm. It's easy and hilarious to get into areas you're totally not supposed to, which is great, since you're a goat. Music is repetitive and goofball.

    I can totally see handing Goat Simulator to kiddie-types to keep 'em quiet for a spell, but I think you'll find you want to ram into everything yourself first just to see what happens. It's a brilliantly, joyfully dumb game. I love it to pieces.

    Janel Appszoom logo

    by Janel , Appszoom

    Sep 17, 2014


    Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true!

    Gameplay-wise, Goat Simulator is all about causing as much destruction as you possibly can as a goat. It has been compared to an old-school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. When it comes to goats, not even the sky is the limit, as you can probably just bug through it and crash the game.

    Goat Simulator is a completely stupid game and, to be honest, you should probably spend your money on something else, such as a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat.

    • You can be a goat
    • Get points for wrecking stuff - brag to your friends that you're the alpha goat
    • MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it
    • In-game physics that bug out all the time
    • Seriously look at that goat's neck
    • You can be a goat

    Android TV users: a compatible gamepad is required to play

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